9/4/2024
The Olympics recently ended, and there were many amazing performances. One of the things that inspired me the most was Simone Biles comeback from the “twisties” that derailed her in Tokyo in 2021. Because of the sudden onset of difficulty with spatial awareness she experienced then, she only won one medal instead of the four or five that were expected. She has since spoken openly about her experience, and how she needed to address her own history of trauma in order to be able to perform at the highest level again. I think there are lessons for many of us in how she responded. When faced with obstacles that may be manifestations of our own internal issues it is often easiest to turn away or to blame factors outside our control. Rather than do this, Simone undertook difficult inner work, seeking to better understand the factors leading her to be unable to perform. She engaged a therapist for help and guidance, and has stated that she doesn’t feel she could have returned to high level competition without doing this. Sometimes it is in our mindfulness practice when we become aware that something is amiss, and it is important to understand that this can happen.
8/28/2024
Many of us try to exercise regularly to maintain fitness and for the general health benefits. Exercise can also be a great opportunity to practice mindfulness. If we choose to do this, it is important to do it in a safe environment, like a gym or a pool, and if outside somewhere where there is not a lot of traffic or other activities that we need to be aware of. I have been running regularly for many years, and when I go on a run I practice mindfulness for a period of time, usually not the whole run, as often as I can. There is a lot that we can pay attention to while we exercise. We can notice all that is happening in the body- where we feel the exercise, and we can be aware of our breathing. If we choose to, we can notice sight. If we are exercising outside, walking, running or biking, we can notice our surroundings. We can also notice our thoughts. Are thoughts arising about how well we are doing, or how much we are enjoying the experience? Or are thoughts arising about how hard the workout is, and perhaps how much we are not enjoying it?
8/28/2024
I was reading a column this week by Amy Dickinson (“Ask Amy”) in which she responded to a letter from a woman who was having difficulty being around her son-in-law. In the letter, the writer stated “While I am visiting, I find his behavior so unpleasant that I find excuses to retire early. Is there any way for me to understand my son-in-law’s behavior and make peace with it?” Part of Amy’s response was ”Peace” (or acceptance) is a choice”. (The Daily Progress 6/23/24). I agree with her that acceptance is a choice. Acceptance is one of the foundational attitudes that underlies mindfulness practice. In this context, it means seeing things as they actually are in the present. We can cultivate acceptance by taking each moment as it comes and being with it fully, as it is. We try not to impose our ideas about what we should be feeling or thinking or seeing on our experience but just remind ourselves to be receptive and open to whatever we are feeling, thinking, or seeing, and to accept it because it is here right now.
5/31/2024
I have spent many years working with people with substance use disorders, including individuals with opioid use disorder. I am continuously amazed by the resilience of people who are in recovery. Many can point to the events or circumstances that led them to stop using drugs. It may have been the threat of losing their job, or getting arrested and sent to jail where they could not get drugs, or they may have gotten placed in a monitoring program where not losing their job or not going to jail was contingent on not using drugs. Fortunately, once they decide to stop, there are medications available to treat opioid use disorder that can dramatically increase the likelihood that people will not use these drugs, and that can also decrease their risk of dying of an overdose by 40 to 50%. Over the past three years, over 100,000 people a year have died of drug overdoses, most of these due to opioids. This is more than died due to motor vehicle accidents and gun violence combined. When an individual stops using illicit opioids, they have to learn how to live without these drugs, which can be very challenging. Often, their predominant way of dealing with difficulty in the past was to use drugs. When they stop using them, they have to find new ways of coping. Those who are successful frequently learn quickly, and often incorporate mindfulness into their daily lives.
5/7/2024
How much can we change as individuals? It is common to hear that “people never change”. Yet change is actually inevitable. As humans, we are changing every moment. Old cells in our bodies are dying, being replaced by new cells. New neural connections are being made in our brains, and old ones may be pruned. This changing architecture and function of our brains is referred to as neuroplasticity and underlies many of the longer-term effects of meditation. As we intentionally direct our attention, new neural connections are made, and as we let go of certain thoughts, related neural connections decrease. These structural changes in the brain can be demonstrated using magnetic resonance imaging after only a few months of meditation. Despite this demonstrated capacity to change, we often still hold on to certain images of ourselves that we feel define us.
3/19/2024
March Madness, as the NCAA basketball tournaments are frequently referred to, is here again. The fields have been chosen, and a favorite team may have been selected or not, leading some of us to feel either happiness or disappointment. Now, over the next three weeks, many people will be focused on their brackets and their favorite teams, perhaps to a state of madness. Madness has a number of definitions according to dictionary.com, at least two of which might apply now. The first is intense excitement or enthusiasm. This is how many people feel during the tournaments, especially watching their favorite team, or a team that is important to their bracket. Another definition is senseless folly. This might be how people who have no interest in basketball view the whole affair. However we view March Madness, as is the case for anything that elicits strong emotions, it can be an instructive time to pay attention to our present moment experience. If we really get caught up in the tournament, we can notice the emotions that arise- happiness or even elation when our favorite team wins, sadness or anger when our team loses.
The Space Between Stimulus And Response
3/4/2024
While driving recently, I was wondering what to write for this month’s Musing when I came to a stop sign. Seeing the red sign with STOP written on it brought my attention back to the present moment. “Aha!” I then thought - I’ll write about STOP, an acronym that reminds us to pause to practice mindfulness in the moment. The importance of pausing is well described in the quote below often attributed to Austrian psychiatrist and holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, although I have been unable to find a reference to him actually saying it. Instead, according to the Viktor Frankl Institute, “The true origin of the quotation is somewhat involved. To put it shortly, the author Stephen R. Covey used to recount that he found the quote in a library book and thought it fitting to describe Frankl's views - but he did not note down the book's author and title.” Whatever the origin, this is still a very powerful statement: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Pausing allows us to pay attention to our present moment experience, and in pausing gives us the space to choose our response, rather than just reacting to our circumstances.
1/12/2024
I have been thinking about the importance of perspective recently. As our society becomes more and more polarized, it seems it has become harder and harder to appreciate the perspectives of those who may see the world differently than we do. We all have views on the way things should be that are largely based on our upbringing and other formative experiences. These views are deeply held and we often don’t even recognize that we have them. When someone says or does something that is counter to these core beliefs it often triggers a strong reaction in us. On the other hand, we tend to like when our core beliefs are supported. Social media companies and news organizations recognize this, and thus our feeds are full of reinforcing information that often focuses on the positives of our beliefs and the negatives of other beliefs. This can lead to greater and greater polarization. Yet if we want to solve difficult problems, we often have to not only acknowledge but even understand and appreciate the beliefs and views of others. This can be very hard because we often move from feeling negatively about an action to making negative assumptions about the person doing the acting. Rather than try to understand them, we judge them.
12/22/2023
This time of the year is often associated with joy. According to Dictionary.com, one of the definitions of joy is “the emotion of delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying”. There are often many opportunities to experience joy now- giving and receiving gifts, noticing the sense of wonder that can arise in children, feeling our own sense of wonder, perhaps in relation to our religious traditions. Last weekend I participated with some of my family and 5000 or so others in the Tacky Light Run in Midlothian, a four-mile run/walk through neighborhoods with houses decorated for the holidays in a variety of often extravagant ways. I experienced joy in spending the time with my family, in seeing the decorations myself, and in watching others’ reactions to them. As with many positive emotions, joy can be missed or overlooked in the context of ongoing negative events. We may be caught up in worrying about these events, which can range from global to personal.
12/1/2023
Thanksgiving is a wonderful opportunity to practice mindfulness. The day is devoted to giving thanks, and we can pay attention to all of the things for which we can be thankful: family, friends, food, activities. We can Intentionally notice our experience as it arises, becoming aware of being in relationship with others, and really paying attention to what we are eating, drinking, and doing. Thanksgiving is also an opportunity to notice when we wish things were different than they are. We might find getting to wherever we are planning to go challenging. We might be spending time alone when we would prefer to be with others, or we might be with people we find difficult. Our favorite sports team might lose. When faced with these moments, we can see if it’s possible to just be with things as they are, noticing what we are feeling without judgement. We can notice the thoughts that arise and recognize the choice we have in getting caught up in them, which may only serve to amplify our suffering, or in letting them go. This doesn’t mean we have to passively accept our situation, but rather to observe it so that we can choose the most skillful response.
