11/22/2024
Next Thursday is Thanksgiving, an opportunity to express thanks for all that we have. Often it is easy to do this. At other times, especially if we are dealing with disappointment or hardship, it may be more difficult. Our minds inherently focus more on what is not going well rather than what is, an attribute that is often referred to as negativity bias. This may well be an evolutionary adaptation from our ancestors who needed to be vigilant and anticipate the worst in order to survive. Although most of the time now we are not actually in danger, our minds can hold on to thoughts about negative events as if we are. In response, we can both acknowledge our circumstances and still choose to focus on something positive, something we are thankful or grateful for instead. One way to do this is by practicing brief gratitude meditation. We can start by closing our eyes and bringing attention to the region of the heart, on the center left side of the chest, then breathing in a little deeper and longer than usual, noticing the flow of air into and out of the lungs. We can then bring to mind someone or something or some place that we really appreciate or are grateful for, holding this image in the mind while we continue to breath in and out slowly and deeply.
The Difference Between Pain and Suffering
11/22/2024
This does not mean we can’t act to change things that are painful. Rather, we can notice discomfort, evaluate options that might make it better, and choose a response, all without getting caught up in continuing to want things to be different than they are. In situations where we experience pain or discomfort, it is easy to start thinking about how bad our situation is, how it may be unfair, or how it might not get better. If we are not paying attention, we may just go over and over these thoughts, increasing our suffering. However, when we do notice these thoughts, we can acknowledge them and then let them go. This is what we practice over and over again while meditating- choosing an anchor for the attention such as the breath, noticing when thoughts arise, as soon as we notice them arising, letting them go, returning the attention to our anchor. I had the opportunity to practice this recently. On a routine visit to my dermatologist, I was diagnosed with a malignant melanoma. I was scheduled for an excision with a skin flap to close the wound. If the melanoma could be completely removed and there was no spread to lymph nodes the likelihood of cure would be high.
11/22/2024
Meditation can help us increase our capacity to choose what thoughts we pay attention to. The mind is a thought generator and, if it is not actively engaged in a task, will nearly continuously produce thoughts. These aren’t thoughts we actively choose to think, they just arise, and we may spend much or our time caught up in them, even if we would prefer not to. In attention-focused meditation, we select an object to pay attention to, such as the breath, and then notice when the mind wanders, including when thoughts arise. As soon as we become aware of a thought we have a choice. We can either stay lost in the thinking or we can let it go and bring our attention back to our breathing. As we do this over and over again, we may find that there are longer periods of time between thoughts. We also may notice thoughts more quickly when they do arise, and we may be able to let them go more easily. One of the outcomes of doing this is that, as we let thoughts go, we may feel less stressed and more relaxed. Engaging in attention focused meditation is also practice for dealing with thoughts that arise when we are not meditating.
9/4/2024
The Olympics recently ended, and there were many amazing performances. One of the things that inspired me the most was Simone Biles comeback from the “twisties” that derailed her in Tokyo in 2021. Because of the sudden onset of difficulty with spatial awareness she experienced then, she only won one medal instead of the four or five that were expected. She has since spoken openly about her experience, and how she needed to address her own history of trauma in order to be able to perform at the highest level again. I think there are lessons for many of us in how she responded. When faced with obstacles that may be manifestations of our own internal issues it is often easiest to turn away or to blame factors outside our control. Rather than do this, Simone undertook difficult inner work, seeking to better understand the factors leading her to be unable to perform. She engaged a therapist for help and guidance, and has stated that she doesn’t feel she could have returned to high level competition without doing this. Sometimes it is in our mindfulness practice when we become aware that something is amiss, and it is important to understand that this can happen.
8/28/2024
Many of us try to exercise regularly to maintain fitness and for the general health benefits. Exercise can also be a great opportunity to practice mindfulness. If we choose to do this, it is important to do it in a safe environment, like a gym or a pool, and if outside somewhere where there is not a lot of traffic or other activities that we need to be aware of. I have been running regularly for many years, and when I go on a run I practice mindfulness for a period of time, usually not the whole run, as often as I can. There is a lot that we can pay attention to while we exercise. We can notice all that is happening in the body- where we feel the exercise, and we can be aware of our breathing. If we choose to, we can notice sight. If we are exercising outside, walking, running or biking, we can notice our surroundings. We can also notice our thoughts. Are thoughts arising about how well we are doing, or how much we are enjoying the experience? Or are thoughts arising about how hard the workout is, and perhaps how much we are not enjoying it?
8/28/2024
I was reading a column this week by Amy Dickinson (“Ask Amy”) in which she responded to a letter from a woman who was having difficulty being around her son-in-law. In the letter, the writer stated “While I am visiting, I find his behavior so unpleasant that I find excuses to retire early. Is there any way for me to understand my son-in-law’s behavior and make peace with it?” Part of Amy’s response was ”Peace” (or acceptance) is a choice”. (The Daily Progress 6/23/24). I agree with her that acceptance is a choice. Acceptance is one of the foundational attitudes that underlies mindfulness practice. In this context, it means seeing things as they actually are in the present. We can cultivate acceptance by taking each moment as it comes and being with it fully, as it is. We try not to impose our ideas about what we should be feeling or thinking or seeing on our experience but just remind ourselves to be receptive and open to whatever we are feeling, thinking, or seeing, and to accept it because it is here right now.
5/31/2024
I have spent many years working with people with substance use disorders, including individuals with opioid use disorder. I am continuously amazed by the resilience of people who are in recovery. Many can point to the events or circumstances that led them to stop using drugs. It may have been the threat of losing their job, or getting arrested and sent to jail where they could not get drugs, or they may have gotten placed in a monitoring program where not losing their job or not going to jail was contingent on not using drugs. Fortunately, once they decide to stop, there are medications available to treat opioid use disorder that can dramatically increase the likelihood that people will not use these drugs, and that can also decrease their risk of dying of an overdose by 40 to 50%. Over the past three years, over 100,000 people a year have died of drug overdoses, most of these due to opioids. This is more than died due to motor vehicle accidents and gun violence combined. When an individual stops using illicit opioids, they have to learn how to live without these drugs, which can be very challenging. Often, their predominant way of dealing with difficulty in the past was to use drugs. When they stop using them, they have to find new ways of coping. Those who are successful frequently learn quickly, and often incorporate mindfulness into their daily lives.
5/7/2024
How much can we change as individuals? It is common to hear that “people never change”. Yet change is actually inevitable. As humans, we are changing every moment. Old cells in our bodies are dying, being replaced by new cells. New neural connections are being made in our brains, and old ones may be pruned. This changing architecture and function of our brains is referred to as neuroplasticity and underlies many of the longer-term effects of meditation. As we intentionally direct our attention, new neural connections are made, and as we let go of certain thoughts, related neural connections decrease. These structural changes in the brain can be demonstrated using magnetic resonance imaging after only a few months of meditation. Despite this demonstrated capacity to change, we often still hold on to certain images of ourselves that we feel define us.
3/19/2024
March Madness, as the NCAA basketball tournaments are frequently referred to, is here again. The fields have been chosen, and a favorite team may have been selected or not, leading some of us to feel either happiness or disappointment. Now, over the next three weeks, many people will be focused on their brackets and their favorite teams, perhaps to a state of madness. Madness has a number of definitions according to dictionary.com, at least two of which might apply now. The first is intense excitement or enthusiasm. This is how many people feel during the tournaments, especially watching their favorite team, or a team that is important to their bracket. Another definition is senseless folly. This might be how people who have no interest in basketball view the whole affair. However we view March Madness, as is the case for anything that elicits strong emotions, it can be an instructive time to pay attention to our present moment experience. If we really get caught up in the tournament, we can notice the emotions that arise- happiness or even elation when our favorite team wins, sadness or anger when our team loses.
The Space Between Stimulus And Response
3/4/2024
While driving recently, I was wondering what to write for this month’s Musing when I came to a stop sign. Seeing the red sign with STOP written on it brought my attention back to the present moment. “Aha!” I then thought - I’ll write about STOP, an acronym that reminds us to pause to practice mindfulness in the moment. The importance of pausing is well described in the quote below often attributed to Austrian psychiatrist and holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, although I have been unable to find a reference to him actually saying it. Instead, according to the Viktor Frankl Institute, “The true origin of the quotation is somewhat involved. To put it shortly, the author Stephen R. Covey used to recount that he found the quote in a library book and thought it fitting to describe Frankl's views - but he did not note down the book's author and title.” Whatever the origin, this is still a very powerful statement: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Pausing allows us to pay attention to our present moment experience, and in pausing gives us the space to choose our response, rather than just reacting to our circumstances.
