{"id":2715,"date":"2024-08-28T15:07:34","date_gmt":"2024-08-28T20:07:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/?p=2715"},"modified":"2024-08-28T15:08:43","modified_gmt":"2024-08-28T20:08:43","slug":"acceptance-is-a-choice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/2024\/08\/28\/acceptance-is-a-choice\/","title":{"rendered":"Acceptance Is a Choice"},"content":{"rendered":"<table>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><strong>By John Schorling<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong>I was reading a column this week by Amy Dickinson (\u201cAsk Amy\u201d) in which she responded to a letter from a woman who was having difficulty being around her son-in-law.\u00a0 In the letter, the writer stated \u201cWhile I am visiting, I find his behavior so unpleasant that I find excuses to retire early.\u00a0 Is there any way for me to understand my son-in-law\u2019s behavior and make peace with it?\u201d\u00a0 Part of Amy\u2019s response was \u201dPeace\u201d (or acceptance) is a choice\u201d.\u00a0 (<em>The Daily Progress<\/em>\u00a06\/23\/24).<\/p>\n<p>I agree with her that acceptance is a choice.\u00a0 Acceptance is one of the foundational attitudes that underlies mindfulness practice.\u00a0 In this context, it means seeing things as they actually are in the present.\u00a0 We can cultivate acceptance by taking each moment as it comes and being with it fully, as it is. We try not to impose our ideas about what we <strong>should be<\/strong>\u00a0feeling or thinking or seeing on our experience but just remind ourselves to be receptive and open to whatever we <strong>are<\/strong>\u00a0feeling, thinking, or seeing, and to accept it because it is here right now.<\/p>\n<p>We can also practice this in relationship with others. We may not agree with others when interacting with them, yet right now we can choose to accept that this is the way things are.\u00a0 We can then also choose a response.\u00a0 It might be to share how we have been affected with the\u00a0other person, or it might be to acknowledge what we are feeling to ourselves, accept that the situation is what it is, and move on, or it might be to end the relationship.\u00a0 We can accept that things are the way they are in this moment, and still choose how we respond moving forward. These are not mutually exclusive.\u00a0 Accepting the reality of this moment instead of wanting it to be different is a form of self-compassion.\u00a0 Continuing to go over the story we tell ourselves in our minds about how we have been affected by someone else\u2019s actions and wishing they were different does not change what happened.\u00a0 It often only makes us feel worse.\u00a0 In her column,\u00a0Amy linked peace and acceptance, and it may be that by choosing acceptance we can experience peace.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0I was reading a column this week by Amy Dickinson (\u201cAsk Amy\u201d) in which she responded to a letter from a woman who was having difficulty being around her son-in-law.\u00a0 In the letter, the writer stated \u201cWhile I am visiting, I find his behavior so unpleasant that I find excuses to retire early.\u00a0 Is there any way for me to understand my son-in-law\u2019s behavior and make peace with it?\u201d\u00a0 Part of Amy\u2019s response was \u201dPeace\u201d (or acceptance) is a choice\u201d.\u00a0 (The Daily Progress\u00a06\/23\/24).<\/p>\n<p>I agree with her that acceptance is a choice.\u00a0 Acceptance is one of the foundational attitudes that underlies mindfulness practice.\u00a0 In this context, it means seeing things as they actually are in the present.\u00a0 We can cultivate acceptance by taking each moment as it comes and being with it fully, as it is. We try not to impose our ideas about what we should be\u00a0feeling or thinking or seeing on our experience but just remind ourselves to be receptive and open to whatever we are\u00a0feeling, thinking, or seeing, and to accept it because it is here right now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1202,"featured_media":1811,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2715","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-monthly-musings"],"acf":false,"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Acceptance Is a Choice - Mindfulness Matters<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/2024\/08\/28\/acceptance-is-a-choice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Acceptance Is a Choice - Mindfulness Matters\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0I was reading a column this week by Amy Dickinson (\u201cAsk Amy\u201d) in which she responded to a letter from a woman who was having difficulty being around her son-in-law.\u00a0 In the letter, the writer stated \u201cWhile I am visiting, I find his behavior so unpleasant that I find excuses to retire early.\u00a0 Is there any way for me to understand my son-in-law\u2019s behavior and make peace with it?\u201d\u00a0 Part of Amy\u2019s response was \u201dPeace\u201d (or acceptance) is a choice\u201d.\u00a0 (The Daily Progress\u00a06\/23\/24).  I agree with her that acceptance is a choice.\u00a0 Acceptance is one of the foundational attitudes that underlies mindfulness practice.\u00a0 In this context, it means seeing things as they actually are in the present.\u00a0 We can cultivate acceptance by taking each moment as it comes and being with it fully, as it is. We try not to impose our ideas about what we should be\u00a0feeling or thinking or seeing on our experience but just remind ourselves to be receptive and open to whatever we are\u00a0feeling, thinking, or seeing, and to accept it because it is here right now.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/2024\/08\/28\/acceptance-is-a-choice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Mindfulness Matters\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-08-28T20:07:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-08-28T20:08:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/files\/2019\/06\/Mindfulness-Butterfly.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"334\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"hw8w@virginia.edu\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"hw8w@virginia.edu\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/news.med.virginia.edu\\\/mindfulness\\\/2024\\\/08\\\/28\\\/acceptance-is-a-choice\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/news.med.virginia.edu\\\/mindfulness\\\/2024\\\/08\\\/28\\\/acceptance-is-a-choice\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"hw8w@virginia.edu\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/news.med.virginia.edu\\\/mindfulness\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/a376f8732fb91dd01719c9efb88260ab\"},\"headline\":\"Acceptance Is a Choice\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-08-28T20:07:34+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-08-28T20:08:43+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/news.med.virginia.edu\\\/mindfulness\\\/2024\\\/08\\\/28\\\/acceptance-is-a-choice\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":382,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/news.med.virginia.edu\\\/mindfulness\\\/2024\\\/08\\\/28\\\/acceptance-is-a-choice\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/news.med.virginia.edu\\\/mindfulness\\\/files\\\/2019\\\/06\\\/Mindfulness-Butterfly.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Monthly Musings\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/news.med.virginia.edu\\\/mindfulness\\\/2024\\\/08\\\/28\\\/acceptance-is-a-choice\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/news.med.virginia.edu\\\/mindfulness\\\/2024\\\/08\\\/28\\\/acceptance-is-a-choice\\\/\",\"name\":\"Acceptance Is a Choice - 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