{"id":2653,"date":"2024-01-12T13:14:36","date_gmt":"2024-01-12T18:14:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/?p=2653"},"modified":"2024-01-12T13:14:36","modified_gmt":"2024-01-12T18:14:36","slug":"perspective","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/2024\/01\/12\/perspective\/","title":{"rendered":"Perspective"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n
By John Schorling<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have been thinking about the importance of perspective recently.\u00a0 As our society becomes more and more polarized, it seems it has become harder and harder to appreciate the perspectives of those who may see the world differently than we do.\u00a0 We all have views on the way things should be that are largely based on our upbringing and other formative experiences.\u00a0 These views are deeply held and we often don\u2019t even recognize that we have them.\u00a0 When someone says or does something that is counter to these core beliefs it often triggers a strong reaction in us.\u00a0 On the other hand, we tend to like when our core beliefs are supported.\u00a0 Social media companies and news organizations recognize this, and thus our feeds are full of reinforcing information that often focuses on the positives of our beliefs and the negatives of other beliefs. This can lead to greater and greater polarization.<\/p>\n

Yet if we want to solve difficult problems, we often have to not only acknowledge but even understand and appreciate the beliefs and views of others.\u00a0 This can be very hard because we often move from feeling negatively about an action to making negative assumptions about the person doing the acting.\u00a0 Rather than try to understand them, we judge them.\u00a0 When we notice the tendency to judge someone, can we pause and respond with curiosity instead?\u00a0 Why did someone act the way they did?\u00a0 This doesn\u2019t mean we have to passively accept others, behaviors.\u00a0 We might still note that we or someone else felt hurt by someone\u2019s actions, and we can seek to understand their motivation rather than just judge them, or just assume we know why they did what they did.<\/p>\n

We can also use this as an opportunity to understand ourselves better.\u00a0 When another\u2019s actions causes us to experience a strong emotional reaction, rather than just reacting to the emotion we can be curious about it.\u00a0 We can start by naming it- perhaps noting anger is arising- and noticing where we feel it in the body.\u00a0 And we can be curious about why we had such a strong reaction.\u00a0 Often the first thought will be \u201cbecause people shouldn\u2019t act that way\u201d or \u201cdoing that is wrong\u201d.\u00a0 But why shouldn\u2019t people do that or why is it wrong?\u00a0 Often this exploration will lead to a strong belief that we\u2019ve held for a long time, such as \u201cit\u2019s wrong to yell at someone\u201d.\u00a0 Yet if the person doing the yelling has been exposed to situations where yelling is the principal way conflicts are dealt with, it\u2019s not wrong to them. It may be the only way they have learned to be heard.<\/p>\n

When we notice a strong reaction in ourselves, we can pause and take perspective.\u00a0 When strong reactions arise, we can easily get caught up in them, and act without even thinking. Pausing allows us to step back, to be curious, to gain some perspective.\u00a0 The same is true of dealing with others.\u00a0 Rather than just judging their behavior, we can be curious.\u00a0 We might ask them about their action, and we might see if we can view things from their perspective.<\/p>\n

I planned to end this Musing with the quote \u201cbefore you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes\u201d.\u00a0 Before I used it, I wanted to know its origin.\u00a0 I found that the quote is usually attributed to this poem written by Mary T. Lathrap in 1895.\u00a0 I will end with the whole poem instead of just the one line as I think it speaks very eloquently to this topic.<\/p>\n

\u201cJudge Softly\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Pray, don\u2019t find fault with the man that limps,
\nOr stumbles along the road.
\nUnless you have worn the moccasins he wears,
\nOr stumbled beneath the same load.<\/p>\n

There may be tears in his soles that hurt
\nThough hidden away from view.
\nThe burden he bears placed on your back
\nMay cause you to stumble and fall, too.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t sneer at the man who is down today
\nUnless you have felt the same blow
\nThat caused his fall or felt the shame
\nThat only the fallen know.<\/p>\n

You may be strong, but still the blows
\nThat were his, unknown to you in the same way,
\nMay cause you to stagger and fall, too.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be too harsh with the man that sins.
\nOr pelt him with words, or stone, or disdain.
\nUnless you are sure you have no sins of your own,
\nAnd it\u2019s only wisdom and love that your heart contains.<\/p>\n

For you know if the tempter\u2019s voice
\nShould whisper as soft to you,
\nAs it did to him when he went astray,
\nIt might cause you to falter, too.<\/p>\n

Just walk a mile in his moccasins
\nBefore you abuse, criticize and accuse.
\nIf just for one hour, you could find a way
\nTo see through his eyes, instead of your own muse.<\/p>\n

I believe you\u2019d be surprised to see
\nThat you\u2019ve been blind and narrow-minded, even unkind.
\nThere are people on reservations and in the ghettos
\nWho have so little hope, and too much worry on their minds.<\/p>\n

Brother, there but for the grace of God go you and I.
\nJust for a moment, slip into his mind and traditions
\nAnd see the world through his spirit and eyes
\nBefore you cast a stone or falsely judge his conditions.<\/p>\n

Remember to walk a mile in his moccasins
\nAnd remember the lessons of humanity taught to you by your elders.
\nWe will be known forever by the tracks we leave
\nIn other people\u2019s lives, our kindnesses and generosity.<\/p>\n

Take the time to walk a mile in his moccasins.<\/p>\n

~ by Mary T. Lathrap, 1895<\/p>\n

 <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have been thinking about the importance of perspective recently.\u00a0 As our society becomes more and more polarized, it seems it has become harder and harder to appreciate the perspectives of those who may see the world differently than we do.\u00a0 We all have views on the way things should be that are largely based on our upbringing and other formative experiences.\u00a0 These views are deeply held and we often don\u2019t even recognize that we have them.\u00a0 When someone says or does something that is counter to these core beliefs it often triggers a strong reaction in us.\u00a0 On the other hand, we tend to like when our core beliefs are supported.\u00a0 Social media companies and news organizations recognize this, and thus our feeds are full of reinforcing information that often focuses on the positives of our beliefs and the negatives of other beliefs. This can lead to greater and greater polarization.<\/p>\n

Yet if we want to solve difficult problems, we often have to not only acknowledge but even understand and appreciate the beliefs and views of others.\u00a0 This can be very hard because we often move from feeling negatively about an action to making negative assumptions about the person doing the acting.\u00a0 Rather than try to understand them, we judge them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1202,"featured_media":2145,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2653","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-monthly-musings"],"acf":false,"yoast_head":"\nPerspective - Mindfulness Matters<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/2024\/01\/12\/perspective\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Perspective - Mindfulness Matters\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have been thinking about the importance of perspective recently.\u00a0 As our society becomes more and more polarized, it seems it has become harder and harder to appreciate the perspectives of those who may see the world differently than we do.\u00a0 We all have views on the way things should be that are largely based on our upbringing and other formative experiences.\u00a0 These views are deeply held and we often don\u2019t even recognize that we have them.\u00a0 When someone says or does something that is counter to these core beliefs it often triggers a strong reaction in us.\u00a0 On the other hand, we tend to like when our core beliefs are supported.\u00a0 Social media companies and news organizations recognize this, and thus our feeds are full of reinforcing information that often focuses on the positives of our beliefs and the negatives of other beliefs. This can lead to greater and greater polarization. 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