{"id":2386,"date":"2021-11-22T16:22:05","date_gmt":"2021-11-22T21:22:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/?p=2386"},"modified":"2021-11-29T08:26:24","modified_gmt":"2021-11-29T13:26:24","slug":"mindfulness-and-emotional-intelligence-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/2021\/11\/22\/mindfulness-and-emotional-intelligence-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

By John Schorling<\/strong><\/p>\n

In last month\u2019s Monthly Musing, I wrote about the relationship between mindfulness and the first two aspects of Emotional Intelligence (EI): self-awareness and self-management.\u00a0 These provide the basis for the other two components of EI: social awareness and relationship management. The former is the topic for this month.<\/p>\n

Social awareness refers to paying attention to others, especially their emotions.\u00a0 Being aware of others emotions is central to empathy, which has been defined as the capacity to understand and share another person’s emotional experience.\u00a0 Empathy is the principal competence underlying social awareness, and can be cultivated by both paying attention to others when we are in relationship with them, really listening, and also paying attention to what we are feeling when we are in the presence of others.\u00a0 When we give someone else our full attention we can better connect with what they are feeling.\u00a0 Especially in helping professions, this can sometimes be problematic as paying attention to and being open to what others are feeling when they are in distress can become overwhelming and lead us to withdraw and close off.\u00a0 This feeling of being overwhelmed has been referred to as empathic overload or empathic distress.<\/p>\n

In addressing this, it is important to understand the difference between empathy and empathic awareness.\u00a0 Empathy is feeling what another person is feeling. Empathic awareness is being aware of what another is feeling, without holding on to the feeling.\u00a0 When we are in the presence of another person who is experiencing a difficult emotion such as grief, we might find ourselves feeling sad.\u00a0 If we are paying attention, we can notice this, acknowledge it, respond appropriately to the other person, and then let the emotion go, knowing that the sadness is arising from our relationship with another.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t acknowledge that this is happening, we are more likely to carry the difficult emotion with us.\u00a0 Being with difficult emotions is hard, even if we can let them pass, so it is important to be kind to ourselves and not beat ourselves up because we think we should be tougher or better at it.<\/p>\n

In these situations, it can also be helpful to respond to another person\u2019s difficulty with compassion.\u00a0 Compassion is recognizing another\u2019s suffering or distress and having the desire to alleviate it.\u00a0 We often cannot fix what another person is going through, yet we can still listen and offer support. This is responding with compassion.\u00a0 Useful steps for practicing compassion include: first, pausing to center ourselves; second, paying attention to what the other person is feeling and also noticing what we are feeling (practicing empathic awareness); third, considering what the best thing we can do is in this circumstance; and fourth, actually doing it, recognizing that we do not have to hold on to the other person\u2019s distress once we have done what it is we can do.<\/p>\n

The second competency related to social awareness is organizational awareness, understanding a group\u2019s emotions and relationships.\u00a0 This too is based on paying attention and on listening.\u00a0 It is easy to get caught up in our own concerns, and when this happens we are less likely to be observant of others.\u00a0 It is important to notice when this is happening, to acknowledge that worrying is occurring, and to see if it is possible to let the worrying go and pay attention to the current situation.\u00a0 It can be particularly important to notice the guiding values and unspoken rules that operate among people. Individuals tend to focus on what has meaning, and understanding this can help people achieve their goals by linking them to what matters most.<\/p>\n

From social awareness we can move to relationship management. Relationship management refers to using the awareness of our own emotions and those of others to optimally manage interactions.\u00a0 This will be the topic of the next Musing in this series.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In last month\u2019s Monthly Musing, I wrote about the relationship between mindfulness and the first two aspects of Emotional Intelligence (EI): self-awareness and self-management.\u00a0 These provide the basis for the other two components of EI: social awareness and relationship management. The former is the topic for this month.<\/p>\n

Social awareness refers to paying attention to others, especially their emotions.\u00a0 Being aware of others emotions is central to empathy, which has been defined as the capacity to understand and share another person’s emotional experience.\u00a0 Empathy is the principal competence underlying social awareness, and can be cultivated by both paying attention to others when we are in relationship with them, really listening, and also paying attention to what we are feeling when we are in the presence of others.\u00a0 When we give someone else our full attention we can better connect with what they are feeling.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1202,"featured_media":2354,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2386","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-monthly-musings"],"acf":false,"yoast_head":"\nMindfulness and Emotional Intelligence Part 2 - Mindfulness Matters<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/2021\/11\/22\/mindfulness-and-emotional-intelligence-part-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence Part 2 - Mindfulness Matters\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In last month\u2019s Monthly Musing, I wrote about the relationship between mindfulness and the first two aspects of Emotional Intelligence (EI): self-awareness and self-management.\u00a0 These provide the basis for the other two components of EI: social awareness and relationship management. 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