By Cawood Fitzhugh<\/p>\n
May I be happy<\/em><\/p>\n May I be healthy in mind and body<\/em><\/p>\n May I be safe and free from inner and outer harm<\/em><\/p>\n May I find peace, as my life shifts and changes<\/em><\/p>\n The Lovingkindness Meditation<\/em> is a way to tap into lovingkindness, extending wishes to ourselves for our own wellbeing.\u00a0 Lovingkindness is an innate quality that is already in us all.\u00a0 It can become clouded at times through the culture we find ourselves in and from not feeling \u201cgood enough\u201d, whether this comes from within ourselves or from the systems we encounter- media, technology, the current culture of perfectionism or even the style of a work culture.\u00a0 Many of us find it easy to be loving towards others but find it almost impossible to be as kind to ourselves. So, why is it that we are so hard on ourselves?<\/p>\n It\u2019s a profound question and one that we can examine with curiosity.\u00a0 Being kind to ourselves can feel pretty foreign.\u00a0 It\u2019s much easier to give this to a benefactor and much harder to give it to ourselves.\u00a0 It takes courage to begin the shift to extending lovingkindness to ourselves. So, how is this done?<\/p>\n There are many variables that contribute to the \u201cwhy I\u2019m not good enough\u201d scenario.\u00a0\u00a0 Upbringing, grading systems in schools, past coaches, and even the way we are evaluated in our professional lives are all mostly geared towards what we don\u2019t do well or how \u201cwe didn\u2019t quite meet the mark\u201d.\u00a0 Generally speaking, little emphasis is placed on personal strengths and positive contributions with the emphasis instead placed on what we need to do better.\u00a0 We can internalize this and only see what we didn\u2019t do.\u00a0 This \u201ctough talk\u201d may at times be a good motivator, however, it doesn\u2019t serve us well as the primary approach to self evaluation.\u00a0 Almost inevitably, this focus on the negative will stop producing positive results and can contribute to professional burnout.<\/p>\n The more we wake up to the negative results of our own self-criticism and judgement and see how badly it actually feels to beat ourselves up, the less excited we become to continue to do this. Acknowledging these habitual patterns of behavior allows moments to begin to open up for lovingkindness to move in.\u00a0 The Lovingkindness Mediation<\/em> allows the opportunity to hold ourselves in our own embrace, wishing ourselves well. It feels much better and also trains our brain for new patterns of behavior in how we view ourselves. This becomes the motivator.\u00a0 Extending lovingkindness to ourselves reduces stress, anxiety and brings a sense of contentment and ease, improving our own well-being and health.<\/p>\n Any time you notice the trigger of self judgement try a \u201cnoting\u201d practice.\u00a0 Just noting \u201cjudgment\u201d \u201cself-critic\u201d \u201cfeeling of failure\u201d.\u00a0 Notice how painful it feels to beat yourself up.\u00a0 Notice what sensations you feel in the body, the thoughts or emotions that accompany it. Do you feel constricted or spacious, heavy or light, anxious or peaceful?\u00a0 After acknowledging what is here, then offer yourself a moment of kindness- acknowledging all you have done well.\u00a0 It can be a single phrase or a silent embrace of just putting your hand over your heart for a moment, acknowledging your goodness.\u00a0 Notice what you feel in the body, what is happening in the mind and what is evoked in the emotions.\u00a0 What does it feel like now?\u00a0 What does it feel like to know you did the best you could do under the circumstances?\u00a0 How does this affect your day, your mood, your physical sensations and your outlook?\u00a0 If you notice resistance to this kindness, remind yourself that you deserve this just as much as anyone else.\u00a0 When you do this, notice what this feels like.\u00a0 This helps to familiarize yourself with your own innate wisdom of well-being through lovingkindness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" May I be happy.<\/p>\n May I be healthy in mind and body.<\/p>\n May I be safe and free from inner and outer harm.<\/p>\n May I find peace, as my life shifts and changes.<\/p>\n The Lovingkindness Meditation is a way to tap into lovingkindness, extending wishes to ourselves for our own wellbeing.\u00a0 Lovingkindness is an innate quality that is already in us all.\u00a0 It can become clouded at times through the culture we find ourselves in and from not feeling \u201cgood enough\u201d, whether this comes from within ourselves or from the systems we encounter- media, technology, the current culture of perfectionism or even the style of a work culture.\u00a0 Many of us find it easy to be loving towards others but find it almost impossible to be as kind to ourselves. So, why is it that we are so hard on ourselves?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1202,"featured_media":2292,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2291","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-monthly-musings"],"acf":false,"yoast_head":"\n