{"id":2174,"date":"2020-10-19T09:45:12","date_gmt":"2020-10-19T14:45:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/?p=2174"},"modified":"2020-10-19T14:54:52","modified_gmt":"2020-10-19T19:54:52","slug":"transitioning-through-the-unwanted-with-mindfulness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/2020\/10\/19\/transitioning-through-the-unwanted-with-mindfulness\/","title":{"rendered":"Transitioning through the Unwanted with Mindfulness"},"content":{"rendered":"
By Cawood B. Fitzhugh<\/h5>\n

Ralph Waldo Emerson\u00a0wrote<\/a> \u201cIn action is his power; not in his goals but in his transitions, man is great.\u201d<\/p>\n

Transitions are a normal part of life.\u00a0 Some are voluntary, like a longed-for job opportunity that\u2019s finally come around or the birth of a new baby. Some transitions are involuntary, like an unexpected job termination, unknown illness or sudden death of a parent or loved one. \u00a0Transitions, even when we choose them, can cause disruption and disequilibrium, be painful and uncomfortable, with many unexpected challenges.\u00a0 The pain and disruption can be even greater when we are forced to transition, when we don\u2019t want to or weren\u2019t anticipating an unforeseen change.<\/p>\n

Right now, we are facing a major transition with the coronavirus. \u00a0For many of us, there is a new awakening with the realization that the pandemic is not a temporary affliction any longer but a long and lasting one. This is creating significant change on every level affecting our personal and professional lives.\u00a0 The reality is, we will probably never go back to what we viewed as our \u201cnormal\u201d lives, even with a vaccine. So, we are all in an unwanted, involuntary transition from our past ways of living to this new uncertainty right now. This can be quite discouraging if we remain stuck holding on to the past.\u00a0 Transitions, however, are a normal part of life, with this pandemic being just one of many. So how do we show up to this immense disruption, while maintaining some sense of balance, equanimity and a good quality of health and sound mind?<\/p>\n

Understanding and acknowledging that transitions are a normal part of life is a good place to start.\u00a0 As difficult as the pandemic is, this may not be the worst transition experienced in some peoples\u2019 lives.\u00a0 Divorce, living with a family member with Alzheimer\u2019s, or losing a loved one may cause more suffering for some.\u00a0 Even wanted transitions, such as the arrival of a new baby or anticipated retirement, can cause unanticipated discomfort and disequilibrium.<\/p>\n

Moving toward the \u201cunwanted\u201d is one of the practices learned in our Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction courses.\u00a0 How do we move toward the unwanted in our lives? Whether it is suffering due to a pandemic, a divorce, a forced job change, the late nights of being with a new baby, or any of the \u201cunexpected\u201d forced transitions that show up daily in our lives on smaller levels, the tendency is to move away from these unwanted events as fast as we can.<\/p>\n

We know transitions are natural and they occur regularly as our lives shift and change daily. Unexpected change can cause suffering, but even welcomed ones can also cause suffering. Understanding that transitions are normal in our lives helps to curb our natural tendency to fight against them. Resisting the coronavirus by trying to overpower it through ignoring its existence or not wearing a face mask doesn\u2019t stop its treacherous effects. \u00a0Our tendency to want to fight against the changes it is necessitating is a futile battle.\u00a0 However, with a shift in mindset, we can make this transition into a source of positive change and new discoveries.\u00a0 Acknowledging what is here in this moment can curb the natural tendency to resist and fight against this transition through acceptance and non-striving.<\/p>\n

Knowing how to move towards the \u201cunwanted\u201d in our lives allows more room to accept these difficult, painful transitions, revealing a greater understanding of the purpose in our lives. We learn greater resiliency by not holding on to the past or worrying about the unknowns of the future but by being present with what is here right now, in this moment, the only moment we are really sure of. \u00a0Being present in this moment allows the opportunity to meet with this \u201cunwanted\u201d with a kind and investigative curiosity, providing the opportunity for new possibilities. \u00a0In Roy F. Baumeister\u2019s book, The Meaning of Life<\/em>, he argues that a sense of meaning gained through changes makes the rest of life seem more stable.\u00a0 Stability can be the result of difficult transitions. Undergoing change successfully gives us greater confidence and increases our ability to face hardship. If we understand transitions properly, we are better able to embrace them and move with them, instead of fighting against them. With a shift in our mindset, we are better able to make any transition into a source of meaning and transcendence and create more resiliency so we can bounce back more quickly.<\/p>\n

By acknowledging, accepting, and noticing the tendency to judge harshly or resist fiercely, the unwanted provides a catalyst for us all to pause, take a breath, and notice what arises with the new opportunities that occur as we go through these transitions.\u00a0\u00a0 Here is a helpful Mindfulness tool called STOP<\/strong> that can be tried out as we move through our own personal transitions individually and collectively with this pandemic.<\/p>\n

S: <\/strong>Stop what you\u2019re doing by putting things down for a moment.
\nT: <\/strong>Take a breath, maybe 3 long ones, observing what\u2019s here, right now in this moment. This can help calm the sympathetic nervous system and make you feel better.
\nO: <\/strong>Observe your experience just as it is, noticing your thoughts, emotions, and what\u2019s happening in the body, without trying to change or fix anything, bringing a friendly investigation to what shows up with curiosity. You may discover something new, an \u201cAHA\u201d moment and gain deeper compassion for yourself and others.\u00a0 Instead of automatically reacting you may now\u2026
\nP: <\/strong>Proceed with something that will support you in a healthy way in this moment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ralph Waldo Emerson\u00a0wrote \u201cIn action is his power; not in his goals but in his transitions, man is great.\u201d<\/p>\n

Transitions are a normal part of life.\u00a0 Some are voluntary, like a longed-for job opportunity that\u2019s finally come around or the birth of a new baby. Some transitions are involuntary, like an unexpected job termination, unknown illness or sudden death of a parent or loved one. \u00a0Transitions, even when we choose them, can cause disruption and disequilibrium, be painful and uncomfortable, with many unexpected challenges.\u00a0 The pain and disruption can be even greater when we are forced to transition, when we don\u2019t want to or weren\u2019t anticipating an unforeseen change.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Right now, we are facing a major transition with the coronavirus. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1202,"featured_media":2179,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-monthly-musings"],"acf":false,"yoast_head":"\nTransitioning through the Unwanted with Mindfulness - Mindfulness Matters<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/news.med.virginia.edu\/mindfulness\/2020\/10\/19\/transitioning-through-the-unwanted-with-mindfulness\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Transitioning through the Unwanted with Mindfulness - Mindfulness Matters\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ralph Waldo Emerson\u00a0wrote \u201cIn action is his power; not in his goals but in his transitions, man is great.\u201d Transitions are a normal part of life.\u00a0 Some are voluntary, like a longed-for job opportunity that\u2019s finally come around or the birth of a new baby. 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